Home > Crossway Blog > Loving Others Category

Archive for the ‘Loving Others’ Category

Mission Motivated by Compassion

In the parable of the good Samaritan, we see how easy it is for religious folks to avoid looking upon the pain of another. Both the Levite and the priest refused to look because they were drained of compassion. The Samaritan, on the other hand, took pity on the hurting person; he saw the man and didn’t look away (see Luke 10:33).

When we look—not glance, but look—we see the person, not the problem. When we look at the person, we see that he or she matters to God and ought to matter to us. When we look, we see a person to be loved, not a problem to be handled. Only when we look can we experience compassion.

Being on mission means having open eyes that are looking for the hurting—the married couple living next door struggling with fertility, the frat boy who disguises his alcoholism with the statement, “Hey, this is what college is all about,” the single mother who waits on you at the restaurant even though she has no idea how she and her child will eat tomorrow after her tips buy food tonight.

To open your eyes is to risk losing your life and living with a broken heart for the sake of the lost. As C. S. Lewis reminds us, the alternative to a compassionate heart is a dead heart:

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

The motive for mission is compassion. We join Jesus on his mission not because we want to grow our church or because we like to dispense apologetic insights to skeptics or even because we like to hang out with unbelievers. We go on the mission of the Savior because we share the compassionate heart of the one who sees people as sheep without a shepherd.

Excerpt from Church Planter by Darrin Patrick. Download the sample chapter, “The Heart of Mission: Compassion”.

January 11, 2011 | Posted in: Books,Church Planting,Loving Others | Author: Angie Cheatham @ 8:29 am | 0 Comments »

Posted in Books, Church Planting, Loving Others | No Comments »

Avoiding Not-So-Constructive Criticism

For most of us, the holidays include extensive time with family, sometimes including family that we don’t get to see all that often. Christin Ditchfield offers some practical words of wisdom as we interact with those we love:

For many of us, we make comments and suggestions to our loved ones because we want to encourage them to improve. We drop hints to our daughters about their clothing choices, we remind our husbands to fix the sink (multiple times), or we joke with our 30 year old sister about still being single, hoping to light a dating fire under her.

Our little criticisms are meant to be constructive. But too often, they end up devaluing or demoralizing instead. Our well-meant encouragement turns into unneeded pressure and stress. How can we expect our loved ones to be happy and inspired when all they really feel is inadequate? Our message comes across as disappointment.

So here’s her challenge to you these next couple weeks:

Instead of always finding fault, work instead to find the good. Offer encouragement as inspiration rather than critique. After all, would we ourselves be able to maintain the standards that we hold others to?

From A Way with Words by Christin Ditchfield

December 21, 2010 | Posted in: Books,Family,Loving Others | Author: Crossway Staff @ 8:35 am | 1 Comment »

Posted in Books, Family, Loving Others | 1 Comment »

To Love Redemptively and to Respect with Thoughts, Words, & Deeds

respect-loveIn Love that Lasts Gary and Betsy Riccucci offer practical insight for husbands and wives. Gary encourages husbands to love their wives as Christ loves them: graciously, sacrificially, redemptively, with understanding, and with honor. For now, we want to focus on what it looks like for husbands to love their wives redemptively:

To love my wife redemptively means I should desire to see my wife being continually transformed into an increasingly beautiful bride, just as Christ desires this for the Church. These questions can point us in that direction:

  • Do I faithfully pray for her, that Jesus Christ might be glorified in her and that she might know his love and grace?
  • Do I love her enough to confront and correct her sin, especially recurrent patterns of sin, and then patiently and consistently lead her into fruitful and liberating repentance?
  • Do I wash her with the water of God’s Word (Ephesians 5:25-27), or do I compromise her growth in godliness because my pride, selfishness, or fear keeps me from this God-given responsibility?
  • Do I lead her into active involvement and service in our local church?
  • Do I constantly remind her of the gospel of grace and of God’s active goodness on our behalf?

Wives: Often times fear, disappointment, or pride make it difficult for you to think about or behave toward your husband with respect. Don’t despair. There is grace for us. There are three ways we can respect our husbands. In thought, word, and deed. Here are some questions to consider as we work towards this:

  • Am I more aware of my husband’s deficiencies or his strengths?
  • Am I more inclined to criticize my husband (whether verbally or in my heart) or commend him?
  • Have I failed to express respect for my husband because I’m so concerned about a particular area of sin in his life?
  • What thoughts spring to my mind when I think of my husband?
  • Do these thoughts honor my husband?
  • How do I speak to my husband when we are alone?
  • How do I speak to him in public?
  • How do I speak of him to others?
  • Do I show respect to my husband through my actions? How so?
  • Do I freely display affection for him through appropriate physical contact (depending on the circumstances)?
  • Do I listen intently when he is speaking, whether in private or in public?
  • Or do my deeds communicate a lack of respect, inattentiveness, or even indifference . . . like interrupting him, looking elsewhere when he’s talking, or forgetting to get to things he’s asked me to do?

Let me encourage you to take the time to sit down and think about all your husband’s godly qualities. Write down what you respect, admire,and appreciate in your husband, or things you appreciate that he does for you and your family. Think also about the routine ways you benefit from your husband in regular day-to-day, week-to-week life. Consider putting some of your thoughts into a letter of love and gratitude and giving it to him to read on his own.

Click here to learn more about Love that Lasts: When Marriage Meets Grace by Gary and Betsy Ricucci.

October 1, 2010 | Posted in: Books,Loving Others,Marriage | Author: Crossway Staff @ 6:18 am | (2) Comments »

Posted in Books, Loving Others, Marriage | 2 Comments »

Be Intentional With Your Words Today

Author Christin Ditchfield gives readers some constructive and practical ways to be intentional with their words. One way is expressing earnest compliments and heartfelt appreciation:

When was the last time we let the people around us know how much we love them, how much we value them and appreciate what they contribute to our lives and the lives of others? No doubt most of them are well aware of their faults and failings—but how about their strengths, their accomplishments and successes, their unique gifts and talents? We know how much it means to us when we’re feeling discouraged, worn out, and “weary in well-doing” and out of the blue, someone compliments us or thanks us or lets us know our efforts haven’t gone unnoticed. How it lifts our spirits and brightens our day! We need to get in the habit of doing the same for others, taking time—making time—every day.

Think about it: Who are the people in your life—in your family, in your church, in your school or office, in your neighborhood or community—who could use a sincere compliment or an expression of heartfelt appreciation from you?

Learn more about A Way With Words.

July 16, 2010 | Posted in: Books,Loving Others,Speech | Author: Crossway Staff @ 6:57 am | 0 Comments »

Posted in Books, Loving Others, Speech | No Comments »

When Christians Misunderstand Christians

9781433511509Excerpt from A Sincere and Pure Devotion to Christ Vol 1 by Sam Storms

No one enjoys being misunderstood or having their motives questioned. By nature we’re defensive and seek ways to vindicate our reputation. All too often we react rather than respond. Sam Storms draws on Paul’s interaction with the church in 2 Corinthians 1:12-2:4 to provide some wisdom that we can apply as we seek to grow in godly communication:

  1. Don’t be quick to “read between the lines.” Unless past indiscretions or the preponderance of evidence indicate otherwise, trust your Christian friends. Give them the benefit of the doubt when they say they are sincere (vv. 13–14).
  2. Don’t always look for some ulterior and sinister motive in what others do simply because things did not turn out the way you wanted them to (vv. 15–16).
  3. If someone has proven himself faithful and devoted in the past, don’t be quick to believe accusations brought against him by an outsider. Be patient and give him an opportunity to explain himself. In other words, don’t jump to conclusions, for it just may be the case that you are the one at fault (vv. 17, 23).
  4. Don’t become frustrated or withdraw yourself from other Christians if they should prove fickle or unfaithful. Ultimately, your trust and dependence are not in them anyway, but in Christ who never fails (vv. 19–22).
  5. Finally, even if it means suffering unjustly and being slandered, avoid unnecessary confrontations. Don’t be too quick to vindicate yourself. Be willing to endure what you don’t deserve for the sake of peace in the body of Christ. The opportunity to clear your name will eventually come (v. 23).

Check out Sam Storms’ new work on 2 Corinthians. This is highly recommended if you’re looking for sermon prep material or rich expository devotion material.

March 8, 2010 | Posted in: Books,Fellowship & Hospitality,Loving Others,Pursuit of Holiness | Author: Crossway Staff @ 8:00 am | 0 Comments »

Posted in Books, Fellowship & Hospitality, Loving Others, Pursuit of Holiness | No Comments »