Archive for the ‘Identity in Christ’ Category

The loss of a husband yields a tremendous grief unlike any other. Marriage is the most intimate of relationships, and to lose your life partner leaves a deep and painful wound.

In The Undistracted Widow, Carol Cornish explains through experience that the key to healing is to cling to Christ, adopting an attitude of love and gratitude. Remember the vows you made on your wedding day? “‘Til death do us part.” Praise the Lord, you and your husband made it to the end. As beautiful as marriage is, it is simply a picture of something far greater—the love of Christ for his Church. Christ cherishes the widow without the mediating love of her husband. Christ is her friend. He will never leave her. He is the lover of her soul.

Cornish encourages widows to pray this prayer based on Psalm 63:

My soul holds tightly to you; it follows after you with intensity, for clinging is a result of cherishing. I am thankful for your nearness, for the gracious gift of your presence with me. Your powerful right hand won’t let go of me. It is the foundation of my confidence. You will bring me through this valley of grief, and when I emerge, may I be more like you.

Adapted from The Undistracted Widow: Living for God after Losing Your Husband, p. 42.

Is it possible for a widow find authentic contentment? Often times people deal with grief by masking real pain with false contentment by:

• Packing schedules
• Thrill-seeking
• Faking optimism
• Resigning to our “fate”
• Indulging in self-pity

But these strategies will not fill the void left by the loss of a husband. Learning to be truly content in widowhood means finding biblical contentment. We must be be satisfied with God’s plan for us and accept wholeheartedly what he has given us. In The Undistracted Widow, Carol Cornish explains that “true biblical contentment is a grace given by God though his Spirit as he does his sanctifying work in our lives.”

Finding contentment as a widow is a process, and Cornish gives us the keys that will open the door to true contentment and happiness:

• Frequent confession of sin
• Meditation on God’s Word
• Memorization of God’s Word
• Trust in God for everything
• Heavenly mindedness

Happiness and contentment do not come from the shallow feeling of elation when things go our way. Real happiness comes from wanting God’s will for us, whatever that may be. When we understand and desire this, we then have the ability to move towards contentment once again.

Adapted from Chapter 14 of The Undistracted Widow.