"It is a sad thing when a woman longs for her man to step up and take responsibility in leading the family spiritually and he won’t do it," explains John Piper.
You cannot demand that your husband take leadership. For several reasons:
- Demanding is contradictory to the very thing for which you long. It is out of character. If you become the demander, he’s not the leader.
- Demanding will be counterproductive because if he had any impulse to try harder, your demanding will take the heart out of it, because it won’t feel like leading anymore; it will feel like acquiescence to your demand.
- It has to come from inside him brought about by the word of God and the Spirit of God.
So, instead of demanding:
- Pray earnestly for him that God would awaken his true manhood.
- When you are neither tired nor angry, ask him for a time when the two of you alone can talk about your heart’s desires. When you express your longings, do it without sounding any ultimatums and with a sense of hope grounded in God, not man. Express appreciation and honor for any ways that he is leading.
Excerpt modified from This Momentary Marriage by John Piper.