The Healing Power of Forgiveness
Alexander Pope, the English poet and essayist, famously remarked, “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” The first part is definitely true. We humans get straight A’s in messing things up. We’re all on the honor roll of stupid statements, cutting remarks, unkind comments, and broken promises. And all of us have been on the receiving end of cruel mistreatment. We’ve hurt and been hurt. To use biblical terminology, we’ve sinned and been sinned against.
Sinning comes naturally. Forgiving is another story. The key to forgiveness lies in the middle syllable; forgiveness is something we give to those who don’t deserve it. It is grace pure and simple. If people deserved forgiveness, they wouldn’t need it. Therein lies the fundamental problem: why in the world should we forgive people who do horrible things to us? What possible motive could we have to forgive people who hurt us deliberately and repeatedly?
Consider some of Jesus’ words on forgiveness
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven” (Luke 6:37).
“If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15).
Last Words
As he hung on the cross, knowing that death was near, Jesus spoke to the crowd that had gathered to watch him die. Amidst the howling, restless, angry mob, he had very few friends. Some had come out of morbid curiosity. Others had come to cheer the death of this rabble-rouser. And some came because they hated him and wanted to be there to make sure he suffered before he died.
What happened that day on Golgotha, a hill in Jerusalem where Jesus Christ was crucified, was unforgivable. That’s the definition of what unforgivable is. When you kill the Son of God, you have done that which is beyond forgiveness. It is truly unforgivable. And yet Jesus said, in his first words from the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). No one standing near the cross expected him to say that. A dying man might scream or curse or utter threats, but you never heard a word of forgiveness when a man was being crucified. Yet that is precisely what Jesus offered to the men who were murdering him. He offered them forgiveness. He asked his righteous and holy Father in heaven, the Lord of all the universe, to forgive his murderers while they were murdering him.
And this is where the words of Jesus become very personal. We’re included in his prayer. When he said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” we were included in the “them.” He was praying for you, and he was praying for every other person on earth. You might say, “No, you don’t understand. I’m not like those people. I’m different. I’m not that bad. I’m not the kind of person who would crucify anyone. I’d never do anything like that.” At this point we discover a hard reality that keeps us from forgiving the people who hurt us: we think we’re better than they are. We think we would never hurt anyone the way they have hurt us. “I’d never treat anyone the way they treated me.” How foolish. How deluded we are when we think this way. It is our false pride that keeps us from the hard step of forgiving others.
Just Like Them
It’s not as if we are all good and the people who hurt us are all bad. It’s not as if we’re totally in the right and they’re totally in the wrong. That’s not the way the world really works. We’re not as good and righteous as we think we are. We get mad just like they do. We break our promises just like they do.
If the truth be told, we’re just like them. If we don’t see that, we’ve missed the real point of Jesus’ first cry from the cross. If we think we’re so much better than the people who have hurt us so deeply, we are self-deceived. If only we could see that we’re all in the same boat together. We’re all truly sinners in one way or another. They fail in one way and we fail in another.
Jesus Christ was pure, holy, and perfect in every way. He never sinned, not even one time. Though he was severely tempted, he never gave in. All of the rest of us fall so far short that we cannot begin to be compared to him.
Experiencing God’s Forgiveness
That is why your first step toward granting forgiveness is to recognize that you are in need of forgiveness—God’s forgiveness. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Just as you were included in Jesus’ “them,” so are you included in this “all.” Let go of thinking that you couldn’t possibly have done anything as bad as those people who hurt you. Let go of thinking that the good things you do surely outweigh the bad. Let go of thinking you don’t need forgiveness.
Jesus Christ, the Son of God, died on the cross to rescue sinners from eternal separation from God. He “suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God” (1 Peter 3:18). He has done the work, and now he offers you full pardon for every wrong thing you have ever done and will ever do. Don’t let your hurting heart or your false pride stand in the way of God’s grace. Admit that you are a sinner, and believe that Christ died for you. God will grant you eternal life, and he will remove your sins “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12).
When you have experienced God’s forgiveness for every selfish, hurtful, spiteful, rebellious thing you have ever done, how can you withhold forgiveness from those who have wronged you?