The Right Response When Your Children Sin
Oftentimes when I'm disciplining my kids, I find that the consequence of their sin, be it shame, or guilt, or the fear of punishment is an indicator of what they need in the moment. Too often as parents we use the consequence of sin to try and get them to stop sinning. For instance, my son often will hide in shame when he realizes he's done something wrong, and as a parent, my tendency is to say, "Shame on you," even more.
But he doesn't need more shame—he needs to go to the One who can set him free from shame so he can come out of hiding and stop deceiving and stop trying to cover up. He needs to come clean and actually confess his sin openly.
As a parent, if I only use the consequence of sin to stop someone from sinning, I'll just teach them how to sin more and more. In my son's case, he'll learn how to hide, learn how to cover up, and he'll become the best deceiver he possibly can—because the way to deal with shame if we use more shame is to figure out a better way to cover it up next time so we don't get caught.
My son doesn't need more shame—he needs to go to Jesus, the one who can set him free from his shame.
- Why You Don't Need to Live Confused, Accused, and Defeated (Jeff Vanderstelt)
- What Does Gospel Fluency Look Like in Action? (Jeff Vanderstelt)
- Common Mistakes in Evangelism (Jeff Vanderstelt)