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How Do We Know If Repentance Is Genuine?
Distinguishing Between Real and Fake Repentance
Fake repentance can look remarkably like the real thing. The disciples walked alongside Judas for nearly three years, and they didn’t have a clue he was a fake. He oversaw the finances. And when Jesus says that one of his disciples is a fraud and would betray him, “the disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke” (John 13:22). Likewise, there is no indication in Scripture that Paul knew in advance that Demas would leave the faith (2 Tim. 4:10).
In our own experience, it is not difficult to come up with examples of people who appeared to be spiritually impressive but, in the end, were not true Christ followers. Like King Saul in 1 Samuel 1–11, they appear to be the real deal. But in time, they will show that they never really left the pigpen of prestige and devotion to self. As the apostle John writes, “they went out from us because they were not of us” (1 John 2:19). If you ask the question in a small group, “Have you ever known someone with whom you were really impressed who turned out to be a fraud?” you would need to cut off the discussion because people will offer so many stories. Thankfully, there are positive examples and not just negative ones. Someone will say, “I was initially skeptical of my friend’s repentance. But over the last twenty years, I have seen that she really has turned things around.”
Since outward appearances can be misleading, that is one reason why evaluating repentance is difficult. The more fundamental reason why is because only God knows the condition of the heart. Again, think of the case of King Saul. The Israelites were impressed with his outward appearance. He was tall and handsome (1 Sam. 9:2). And he was a decisive, accomplished, and generous leader for a time (11:5–15). But, in the end, he turned out to be a selfish fraud. King David, on the other hand, also committed the most horrific kinds of sins, including adultery, murder, and acts of arrogance in his role as king, and his sins, directly and indirectly, cost the lives of many and caused untold heartache (2 Sam. 11; 24). Yet Scripture tells us that David was a man after God’s own heart and was truly repentant (1 Sam. 13:14; 16:7; Pss. 32; 51). The bottom line is that none of us, especially in the short run, can tell for sure if someone is repentant. This is particularly true when someone is caught in their sin rather than confessing of their own volition.
The Way of Repentance
Chris Brauns
Drawing on Scripture and the Westminster Shorter Catechism, this practical theology on repentance invites readers to experience abiding gladness by turning away from sin and toward Jesus.
The number of tears we shed, by the way, does not help us evaluate repentance. Judas was so full of remorse that he took his own life (Matt. 27:3–4). Esau shed many tears but did not truly repent (Heb. 12:16–17). The rich young ruler went away sad (Mark 10:17–30; Luke 18:8–30). King Saul said he was sorry (1 Sam. 15:24–25, 30). But none of these was sincere repentance.1
To be blunt, just because we feel very sorry or we have regretted our actions for years and have shed buckets of tears does not mean that we are truly repentant. It may only mean that we feel sorry for ourselves or the people we hurt. As Tim Keller pointed out, “Self-pity looks like repentance, but it is self-absorption, and that is the essence of sin.”2
True Repentance Features Earnest Action
Though it is difficult to distinguish godly grief from worldly sorrow, we need not despair that it is impossible. Thankfully, in 2 Corinthians 7:2–16, Paul explains a basic principle for evaluating whether repentance is genuine.
By way of background, in this section of 2 Corinthians, Paul was following up on what had been a difficult problem in the church at Corinth. The church had not initially dealt properly with a member of the congregation who was caught in serious sin. We do not know with certainty the actual offense. But by the way Paul frames the discussion, we know it was a serious matter (2 Cor. 2:5–11). It is likely that the offense in view is the sexual sin Paul addresses in 1 Corinthians 5. But whatever the precise matter, it was serious enough that it needed to be confronted. Some, however, in the congregation had resisted doing so probably because the offender was an influential member of the community.
Only God knows the condition of the heart.
Paul himself had received a great deal of pushback regarding his encouragement to deal with the offender, and the situation had caused everyone a great deal of pain. As a result, Paul confronted the Corinthians via correspondence that he sent with his trusted ministry partner Titus, and he anxiously waited to hear if the Corinthians would repent.
Paul was by no means sure that things would go well. He was so distressed that when Titus did not return as expected, Paul left a ministry opportunity and went looking for him in Macedonia (2 Cor. 2:12–13).
Thankfully, Titus reported that the Corinthians were repentant, and the matter had been addressed. But how could Paul be sure they were really sorry and not just bruised by Paul’s severe admonishment? In 2 Corinthians 7:2–16, Paul, writing back to the Corinthians, explains why, based on Titus’s report, he believed their repentance was authentic: “As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. . . . For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death” (2 Cor. 7:9–10). So what gave Paul confidence that the Corinthians were truly repentant? First, it was not because of the quantity of tears shed in Corinth. As I said above, tears alone are not a reliable indicator. Rather, Paul explains,
See what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter. So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God. Therefore we are comforted. (2 Cor. 7:11–13)
A careful study of this passage shows that the central quality of authentic repentance is that it features earnest productivity. Identifying this focus on earnestness requires careful analysis. If we only read the passage once or twice, we might see it as a list of seven different qualities: earnestness, eagerness to clear oneself, indignation, fear, longing, zeal, and punishment. But Paul’s wording indicates that earnestness is the preeminent description of true repentance. Barnett writes, “The significance of the word ‘earnestness,’ or ‘eagerness,’ is seen not only from its appearance as first in the list but also from its repetition in the next verse.”3
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The word translated “earnestness” appears twelve times in the Greek New Testament and connotes the idea of eagerness or diligence in carrying out a commitment or responding to a need.4 For example, in Luke 1:39, after Mary learns that she will have a baby though she is a virgin, Luke records that she went “with haste” or “earnestness” to see her cousin Elizabeth.
This is not to say that the other six descriptive words in 2 Corinthians 7:11 are not important. In context, these words describe how the Corinthians’ earnestness shows itself where repentance is concerned in that situation in the church.
Taken altogether, Guthrie summarizes that the Corinthians recognized the gravity of the situation and their need to address it aggressively and thus showed a different “shift in posture” of the previously “wayward congregation.”5 Paul could tell that the Corinthians’ repentance is authentic because it produced the fruit of action, or earnest productivity.6
One of the most striking things I have observed as a pastor is the contrast between the short life of worldly sorrow compared with the earnest productivity of true repentance. Whenever I first meet someone who is guilty of a serious offense, even after over thirty years of pastoral experience, I cannot reliably determine if they are truly sorry, particularly if the individual has been caught in sin rather than coming forward. Usually, there are lots of tears. Most people feel bad when they have made a big mistake. But if the grief is not true repentance, then soon enough it becomes clear. Such a person weeps many tears but is unwilling to follow through with something as basic as church attendance, much less memorizing and studying relevant Scripture. And it can be breathtaking how quickly someone who has committed a grave offense begins to criticize a local church. So often the speech goes something like, “Well, I know that I messed up, but I just thought God’s people would be more loving” or “I shouldn’t have done it, but everyone is being too heavy-handed.”
In contrast, the earnestness of those who are truly repentant shows itself across years and decades. In his great work on repentance, Thomas Watson (1620–1686) described the earnest productivity of true repentance as having six qualities: “Repentance is a spiritual medicine made up of six special ingredients. . . . If any one is left out it loses its virtue. . . . The six ingredients include: (1) sight of sin, (2) sorrow for sin, (3) confession of sin, (4) shame for sin, (5) hatred for sin, (6) turning from sin.”7
So the essential distinguishing mark of authentic repentance is that it features an earnest productivity that “bears fruit in keeping with repentance” (Matt. 3:8). This earnest productivity should especially focus on the use of the ordinary means of grace. The person who is truly repentant will hear the word preached, share life with other believers in a local church, worship with an emphasis on the Lord’s Supper, and pray.
Notes:
- “Sorrow is good for nothing but sin. If you shed tears for outward losses, it will not advantage you. Water for the garden, if poured in the sink, does no good. Powder for the eye, if applied to the arm, is of no benefit. Sorrow is medicinable for the soul, but if you apply it to worldly things, it does no good. Oh, that tears may run in the right channel and our hearts burst with sorrow for sin!” Thomas Watson, The Doctrine of Repentance (Banner of Truth, 1988), 63.
- Timothy Keller, Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? (Viking, 2022), 146.
- “The first of the seven words is preceded by ‘what [earnestness],’ the following six by ‘not only so but . . .’ (on each occasion translating the single word ‘but,’) thus creating an ascending climactic effect from the initial word. The significance of the word ‘earnestness,’ or ‘eagerness,’ is seen not only from its appearance as first in the list but also from its repetition in the next verse. Furthermore, each subsequent word is strong and vivid, painting its own picture of animated reactions among the Corinthians, whose force the NIV tends to blur.” Paul Barnett, The Second Epistle to the Corinthians, ed. Gordon D. Fee, The New International Commentary on the New Testament (Eerdmans, 1997), 378.
- Mark 6:25; Luke 1:39; Rom. 12:8, 11; 2 Cor. 7:11, 12; 8:7, 8, 16; Heb. 6:11; 2 Pet. 1:5; Jude 3. It is instructive to notice how Paul uses this word twice in 2 Cor. 8:7–8, where he is encouraging the Corinthians to take up a collection. In that context, Paul says in effect, earnestness about a financial gift would prove their love.
- George H. Guthrie, 2 Corinthians, Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament (Baker, 2015), 381.
- “The test of repentance is the genuineness and resoluteness of our repentance in respect of our own sins, sins characterized by the aggravations which are peculiar to our own selves.” John Murray, Redemption Accomplished and Applied (Eerdmans, 1955), 114–15. “Our repentance needs to be repented of, unless it leads us to confession and restitution in cases of private injury; unless it causes us to forsake not merely outward sins, which attract the notice of others, but those which lie concealed in the heart; unless it makes us choose the service of God, as that which is right and congenial, and causes us to live not for ourselves but for him who loved us and gave himself for us.” Hodge, Way of Life, 155.
- Watson, Doctrine of Repentance, 18. Ryle’s summary of authentic repentance includes (1) knowledge of sin, (2) sorrow for sin, (3) confession of sin, (4) breaking off from sin, and (5) a deep hatred of all sin. J. C. Ryle, Repentance (Ichthus Press, 2016), 6–8. See also Richard Sibbes’s answer to the question “How shall we know if we are truly bruised?” Richard Sibbes, The Bruised Reed and Smoking Flax, in The Works of Richard Sibbes, 7 vols. (Banner of Truth, 1979). See D. M. Lloyd-Jones’s comparison between remorse (worldly grief ) and repentance (godly sorrow) in “Repentance,” in Great Doctrines of the Bible: Three Volumes in One (Crossway, 2003), 137–38.
This article is adapted from The Way of Repentance: Embracing God’s Gift for a Transformed Life by Chris Brauns.
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