Gifts for Moms, Dads, and Grads
Gifts for Moms, Dads, and Grads
How to Worship When God Feels Distant
Transforming Duty to Delight
Worship is our heartfelt response to God’s character and works. We might immediately think of ‘worship’ as something we do on Sunday mornings, but it’s not limited to our time at church. We can worship God at any moment and on any day of the week through our words, actions, and whole-hearted devotion to God. This can look like singing or listening to songs of praise while we do household chores, thanking God verbally for his everyday provisions, and spending our time and money in ways that show the supreme role of importance he has in our lives.
As Christians, even though we know we’re supposed to actively worship God, and we experience days or even long seasons where we enjoy giving him the praise he’s due, sometimes we just don’t feel like it. In the midst of the daily demands of work, family, school, and home, worship can feel strange and out of place. Things like social media, our favorite TV show, shopping, or watching our favorite sporting event can feel more exciting, enticing, and deserving of our praise, attention, and devotion. As we give time, money, and attention to other things, our senses can become dulled to the awareness of God’s presence and promises, further perpetuating our feelings of apathy and distance.
In those moments, how can we continue to live a life of worship, even when God feels distant? What are the next steps for a Christian who knows they ought to worship God but just doesn’t feel like doing it?
Worship
Emily A. Jensen, Winfree Brisley
This volume of TGC’s Disciplines of Devotion series invites women to cultivate worship in every area of their lives. Readers will learn dozens of practical ways to praise God through their words, their works, and their “why.”
Remember—God is not distant, even if it feels that way.
The story of the gospel reminds us that we never pursued God to begin with—he pursued us. While we were still sinners, disinterred in him and putting lesser things on the thrones of our hearts, God made a plan to reconcile us to himself (Rom. 5:8; Eph. 4:1). If you are a follower of Christ today, you can thank God for helping you see, understand, and receive the gift of his grace. As a believer, you are now filled with his Holy Spirit, and Christ is interceding on your behalf (Acts 2:38; Rom. 8:34; Heb. 7:25). In good days and bad and in seasons of faithfulness and spiritual apathy, your positional relationship to God is unchanged (Rom. 8:31–39). His presence is everywhere, and his grace is abundant (Ps. 139:7–10).
Sometimes we’re tempted to hold off on praising God until we judge ourselves ‘faithful’ or have an emotional sense of God’s nearness. But the truth is that we were never faithful enough to begin with—we’ve always had to approach God humbly, by grace through faith (Eph. 2:8–9). God hasn’t gone anywhere, and you don’t have to do a checklist of ‘right’ things before coming to him in worship.
Practice behavioral activation.
Our culture tends to get the order of action and affection backwards. It tends to assert that actions ought to proceed from feelings of desire. In this paradigm, what we feel drives our decisions. Without realizing it, many of us have adopted this mindset in our relationship with God. We wrongly assume that if we don’t “feel” like singing a song of worship, giving money to the church, or serving God with our time, then we shouldn’t do it—as if doing it anyway would be “inauthentic.” We tend to assume that if God “feels” distant to us, then he must be, and we let those assumptions come to bear on our actions and decisions. There’s no doubt that God created us as image bearers with feelings and emotions. These are good gifts, and they can give us helpful information about ourselves and the world around us. But feelings were never meant to reign supreme—they were never designed to sit at the helm of our hearts (Jer. 17:9; Prov. 3:5–6; Matt. 15:19).
Just like we do in many relationships and areas of life that we care about deeply, Christians must, at times, practice behavioral activation. Behavioral activation is a therapeutic term, but the principle is that our behaviors can activate our motivation and feelings. Anyone who has started a workout because physical health is important to them, even though they would prefer to sit on the couch, can attest that after the fact that they were glad they worked out! They later felt energized and motivated. They had no regrets. Have you ever experienced this with worship? Maybe you went to church feeling a bit ”blah” and disengaged, but as you opened your mouth to sing and sat under the preaching of the word, your affections were revived.
When you feel like God is distant and actively worshipping him doesn’t seem engaging or beneficial, consider doing it anyway. Pray words of praise and thanksgiving. Turn on a worship song and sing along. Live in submission to him and walk in acts of humble service anyway (John 14:15; James 1:22).
Feelings come and go, but God never does (Deut. 31:6; Matt. 28:20; Heb. 13:8). Sometimes our actions can reignite our awareness of his goodness and presence.
Feelings come and go, but God never does.
Assess and adjust.
After moving forward with actions of worship, we might seek a moment of reflection: What led me to a point of feeling distant from God? We naturally do this already with other relationships, like parenting and marriage. When something is ”off” and a spouse or child feels distant, we run relational diagnostics to understand what went wrong. Did we not give them enough time and attention? Were we distracted by other things? Were we too critical? Did we nurse unfair expectations or bitterness? Even though our relationship with God is not exactly like a human relationship, some of the general principles still apply. When things are ”off” or less than healthy, we can assess and make adjustments.
What kinds of things can cause God to feel distant and worship undesirable? Here are a few:
- A dulling of the conscience through repeated, unrepentant sin.
- Lack of attention and engagement with God through prayer and Scripture.
- Lack of regular fellowship and connection with God’s people.
- An overuse of entertainment or social media.
- Using food, shopping, or other substances as coping mechanisms.
- Worshipping idols—giving a level of love, attention, and devotion to people, ideals, and hobbies that God alone is due.
It’s worth noting that sometimes worshipping God doesn’t feel hard because of sin or spiritual negligence but rather because we’re walking through an intense season of suffering, grief, or depression. While some people report a greater awareness of God’s presence in their lowest moments, others find that their darkest days make worship all the more difficult (Ps. 42; Ps. 77:3). In these instances, it’s still helpful to remember the story of the gospel, the prevalence of grace, and the nearness of God. In these times, we might want to turn to hymns like “God Moves in Mysterious Ways” or “O God, Our Help in Ages Past” as we worship through pain, or to scriptures, like the psalms, to express lament.
The Beauty of Worshipping Anyway
Scripture is filled with encouraging examples of people who worshipped God in every type of circumstance—when it felt easy and natural, when it felt hard, and even when it carried great personal risk. One beautiful example of this is in Acts 16 when Paul and Silas were in prison (Acts 16:16–40). Even while they were in chains for the name of Jesus, they prayed aloud and sang hymns. Their obedience—showing God devotion and giving him praise in a desperate and life-threatening situation—is a beautiful testimony to us today. Not only did God use this to help them persevere in persecution, but he used it to convert others to Christ (Acts 16:30–34).
No matter what you’re facing today—whether God feels present and powerful or distant and disengaged—give your heart, your words, your actions, and your very life as an offering to him.
Emily A. Jensen is the author of Worship.
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