What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage


By Paul David Tripp

... Show All

Format: Paperback

Availability: Out of Print

What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage


By Paul David Tripp

... Show All

Somehow, someway, every marriage becomes a struggle.

Everyone’s marriage morphs into something they didn’t intend it to be. At some point you need something sturdier than romance. You need something deeper than shared interests and mutual attraction. You need changed expectations, you need radical commitments, and, most importantly, you need grace.

Read Chapter 1


Paul David Tripp

Paul David Tripp (DMin, Westminster Theological Seminary) is a pastor, an award-winning author, and an international conference speaker. He has written numerous books, including Lead; Parenting; and the bestselling devotional New Morning Mercies. His not-for-profit ministry exists to connect the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life. Tripp lives in Philadelphia with his wife, Luella, and they have four grown children.

Product Details

Category: Marriage & Family
Format: Paperback
Page Count: 288
Size: 6.0 in x 9.0 in
Weight: 13.72 ounces
ISBN-10: 1-4335-4945-X
ISBN-13: 978-1-4335-4945-8
ISBN-UPC: 9781433549458
Case Quantity: 32
Published: October 31, 2015

Table of Contents

  1. What Did You Expect?
  2. Reason to Continue
  3. Whose Kingdom?
  4. Day by Day

Commitment 1: We will give ourselves to a regular lifestyle of confession and forgiveness.

  1. Coming Clean: Confession
  2. Canceling Debts

Commitment 2: We will make growth and change our daily agenda.

  1. Pulling Weeds
  2. Planting Seeds

Commitment 3: We will work together to build a sturdy bond of trust.

  1. Sticking Out Your Neck
  2. Someone to Be Trusted

Commitment 4: We will commit to building a relationship of love.

  1. All You Need Is Love
  2. Ready, Willing, and Waiting

Commitment 5: We will deal with our differences with appreciation and grace.

  1. Amazing Grace
  2. Before Dark

Commitment 6: We will work to protect our marriage.

  1. Eyes Wide Open
  2. On Your Knees
  3. Worship, Work, and Grace


“Noel and I listened to most of this book driving in the car! Wise words. Authentic experience. Provocative application. Turned a long trip into a fruitful two-person marriage seminar.”
John Piper, Founder and Teacher, desiringGod.org; Chancellor, Bethlehem College & Seminary; author, Desiring God

“At once deeply theological and practically relevant, this is one of the top books on marriage I have ever read. Paul Tripp allows readers to examine marriage through a biblical lens so that we understand how God can graciously heal our hurting homes. As a pastor, I will implore our people to read this book as soon as it is available.”
Chris Brauns, Pastor, The Red Brick Church, Stillman Valley, Illinois; author, Unpacking ForgivenessBound Together; and When the Word Leads Your Pastoral Search

“What I’ve come to expect from Paul Tripp is consistently deep, transparent, biblical, wise, practical, gospel-driven counsel. Rather than muddying the water with self-focused strategies designed to meet our ever-multiplying needs, Paul, as the seasoned soul-physician he is, correctly diagnoses our problems and provides the cure—humble faith in Jesus Christ. I wasn’t disappointed. You won’t be either.”
Elyse Fitzpatrick, coauthor, Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women

“Paul Tripp brings many years of counseling, growth as a husband, and deepening discovery of the liberating power of grace to this realistic and challenging guide to God’s engagement in redeeming marriages that are threatened by complacency, misunderstanding, and selfishness. The Bible’s message of the humbling and healing power of Christ’s mercy and the powerful presence of his Spirit in our homes comes through loud and clear. The daily practicality of gospel doctrine is made crystal clear by Tripp’s transparency about his personal missteps in becoming a Christ-reflecting husband and the many examples of couples who have discovered that they are sinners married to sinners. But that the third, divine Party in marriage gives hope and change when unrealistic expectations are shattered and when we confront our sin. But be warned: Tripp’s diagnostic questions are downright uncomfortable. Even those with strong marriages by God’s grace will find their deep tendencies toward self-coronation challenged!”
Dennis E. Johnson, Professor Emeritus of Practical Theology, Westminster Seminary California; author, Him We Proclaim; Walking with Jesus through His Word; and Journeys with Jesus

“Paul Tripp issues a challenge for couples to roll up their sleeves, get to work, and do what it takes to build a God-honoring relationship. He presents six commitments for couples to make, and contained within each is insightful, practical, and effective advice on how to construct a loving, growing, grace-soaked marriage.”
Mary A. Kassianauthor, Growing Grateful