Discipling Is Inherently Countercultural

The Way Jesus Discipled

My friend Richard Brohier is an Australian pastor who also serves as a consultant helping churches to remain healthy. He told me, “I find that every church I go to is talking discipleship and disciple-making as a core value—but I somehow don’t see it. It is what I call a preferred value rather than an actual value. . . . It’s what we are supposed to do—rather than what we do.”1 We will show that a major reason for the lack of discipling today is that it is an activity that runs counter to contemporary culture.

Matthew’s Great Commission states that “teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” is a key ingredient of making disciples (Matt. 28:19–20). Paul describes discipling by saying: “Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ.” Paul goes on to say that this is hard work: “For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me” (Col. 1:28–29). Christian attitudes and behaviors are so different from those in their pre-Christian life that it takes time and effort to instill them into the lives of new believers.

Jesus accomplished this task of teaching his disciples mainly through three means. These should form key ingredients of a good discipling program. First, he taught them in formal settings, like the Sermon on the Mount and the Upper Room Discourse. Today, this would translate to preaching and teaching. Second, he discussed issues pertaining to truth through conversations they had. Third, as a community of friends, they experienced the life of faith and service together. I hope to focus on the second and third points.

Discipling in a Multicultural World

Ajith Fernando

This book will equip Christians to effectively carry out the biblical principles of discipleship in a world where many who come to Christ have little or no prior knowledge about Christianity.

Jesus spent long hours with his disciples, traveling and ministering together and chatting about God and life. Much of Christ’s profound teaching in the Gospels emerged from discussions he had with his disciples related to challenges they faced. As they lived and served together, faced opposition from outside, and had conflicts among themselves, they were forced to practice the truths that they had been taught. Teaching, interaction, and chatting combined to help the truth to become part of their lives.

Jesus set the pattern for his discipling lifestyle at the start of his ministry. Two disciples of John the Baptist asked Jesus, “Where are you staying?” He took them to where he was staying, “and they stayed with him that day, for it was about the tenth hour” (4:00 pm, John 1:39). Many scholars think that “stayed with him that day” means they spent the night with him, in keeping with Jewish hospitality traditions.

As his ministry began to grow, Jesus intentionally took his disciples away from the crowds so that he could teach them. For this purpose, he sometimes went to Gentile territory, where he was relatively unknown and could teach them undisturbed. He went to Tyre and Sidon, northwest of Israel (Mark 7:24); to the regions of Decapolis, on the eastern side of the Sea of Galilee (Mark 7:31); and the villages of Caesarea Philippi, on the northeast side of the Sea of Galilee (Mark 8:27). Mark 9:30-31 says, “They went on from there and passed through Galilee. And he did not want anyone to know, for he was teaching his disciples.” By spending so much time together, this band became a group of friends learning in community At the end of his life he told them, “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:15).

Society Would Consider It a Waste of Time

In our contemporary world, where efficiency, appearance, and marketability are high values, spending hours with disciplees seems like a waste of a leader’s time. The number of those discipled is not very large, unlike the hundreds who could be reached through an impressive discipling course of study. Donors would prefer to fund a program that reaches hundreds of people rather than a dozen. Magazines will not find news that a leader spends a lot of time with a few people worth reporting. Discipling seems to be an inefficient activity also because not all the people we invest in finish well. Some fall away.

The needs of those we disciple may crop up at the most inconvenient times. And as spiritual parents, we must somehow find the time to attend to them. We are told to be careful with our schedules, to plan our lives well, and not to be a slave to the needs of others. But Paul called himself a bond servant of the Corinthian Christians (2 Cor. 4:5). A servant’s schedule is determined by the master!

Indeed, we can harm ourselves by working too hard as we serve our people without taking sufficient rest. The answer to that is to make discipling a top priority in our lives and drop other activities that may not be a priority, though they may help market our name more effectively. A secret of healthy leadership is the ability to drop some things so that we give time to our important duties. When I was leading Youth for Christ, I found out that a person I was supervising had been struggling with a major problem for some time. I asked him why he hadn’t told me about it. He said that I was so busy that he did not want to disturb me. I took that as a failure in my ministry. Good leaders make the time to meet the needs of those they lead.

Good leaders make the time to meet the needs of those they lead.

Lingering with People in a World of Instant Communication

This is an age of instant communication, and short messages are a common way to communicate. Messages are sent with the expectation of an instant response. Indeed, I have found this to be a helpful way to keep in touch with people, to send a quick word of greeting, assuring them of prayer. That reminds people that they are not forgotten. But deep issues in a person’s life take time to surface. I have found that some people bring up a serious issue at the time I think our time together is over.

The value of lingering is best seen when we study and apply the Word together. The discussion may take a long time, but it can address deep issues in a person’s life. The unhurried grappling with truth enables truth to be internalized. Grappling with the eternal truth of the word can be one of the most enriching experiences in life. It helps give a foundation of security to people living in a restless and insecure world.

Depth of Caring in a Superficial World

The loneliness and insecurity that plagues people who have thousands of friends on social media have been well documented. Social media has fostered a superficial world that encourages sharing our lives with people who may not be genuinely committed to our welfare. Proverbs 18:24 is a prophetic word to our social media-saturated generation: “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” The need for friends who stick closer than a brother can be met by a discipleship group, especially by the group leader. The discipler gives time to listen, to talk, to advise, to rebuke, to help, and to pray. Such concern and commitment contribute to the disciple becoming a secure individual. Through the experience of security with God’s people, the door is opened for a person to experience ultimate security in God.

Personal Confrontation in a Private World

People today are very open about themselves on social media. But when it comes to things like personal morality and spiritual life, they guard their privacy. They resent the idea of having to discuss major decisions they must make. They don’t like to be rebuked and told what they should do. Paul said discipling includes “warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom” (Col. 1:28). The word translated “warning” has the idea of exhorting, especially when one is liable to go wrong.

This resistance to discipling has been compounded by the kind of confrontation that takes place in abusive discipling relationships. Some disciplers are like dictators, having too much control over those they disciple. Some impose their will on disciplees on matters that the disciplees should be deciding, like the choice of career or spouse. These abuses could be avoided if disciplers adopt an attitude of servanthood and if disciplers not only demand accountability from others but also are themselves accountable to others for their lives. The relationship with the disciplee is not one of individualistic ownership but of stewardship within a larger community. Hopefully, healthy community life acts as a deterrent to abuse by individual disciplers within the community.

Leaders Must Lead

If there is to be disciple-making in an organization or church, the leaders must take the lead in discipling others. Their example will trickle down to others in the group. They can start by caring for staff who work under their leadership. Then caring becomes part of the DNA of the group, and disciple-making is a natural consequence.

Notes:

  1. Email sent from Geelong, Australia by Richard Brohier on July 2, 2017.

Ajith Fernando is the author of Discipling in a Multicultural World.



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