2026 Christmas Gift Guide
2026 Christmas Gift Guide
Is My Kid Actually Growing in Christ?
Measuring Growth
Dad, can you measure me on the wall? I feel like I’m getting taller. I know I’m taller than Mom! How tall do you think I’m going to be?
These words capture many of my memories of my youngest son throughout middle school. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard questions and comments like these. He is captivated by growth. Maybe you have this kid too! He and his older brother are constantly standing next to each other, rolling their eyes to try to see whose head is higher without changing their statue-like posture. Most of the time it’s funny and light-hearted ribbing, but there is a deep desire in my son to grow.
Even as kids, however, they understand that there must be some way to measure growth. At our house, we have a section of a wall we have surrendered to the task of marking off the heights of our four kids. Various colors of ink, pencil smudges, and a few initials here and there reflect the unpredictable development of our kids over the years. There has been growth. Not in nice even increments. Not overly fast. Pretty messy at times. But growth, nonetheless.
As Christian parents and caregivers, we desire our kids to grow in their faith as well. Our prayer is that they pray, read their Bible, learn what life in the body of Christ looks like, and that they would grow in Christ. But how do we know if that growth is happening? If only we could make a mark on the wall to see how our children are growing in the faith! It is important to note that our thoughts should not be shaped by judgment or even punishment. We simply want to see where there is growth and where there is not, so that we might help them in their spiritual life. While it’s not as neat and easy as stretching a tape measure up to a pencil mark, there are ways that we can see the evidence of God’s work in our kids and help them grow in their relationship and union with Christ.
10 Questions About Growing in Christ
William R. Osborne
Presenting 10 questions in 30 readings on one important faith topic, this 10 Questions volume helps young readers understand what it means to grow as a Christian, even when life is hard.
Childlike Growth
As adults, the challenge of identifying growth in our children is perhaps linked to the fact that we are not used to looking for childlike growth in areas of faith and the Christian life. As believers, many adults have spent years striving to know God more, seeking him in prayer, and coming to the realization of their sin and need for repentance. I know that in my life this has been a long road—one I’m still on. As we reflect on the spiritual lives of our children, we must always remember that they are just setting out on this lifelong journey. The signs of growth may be small—so small they can be easily overlooked. Busy lives and lofty ideals can make it even harder to see the gradual growth in Christ in our kids.
For example, you may see your child read the Bible—or you may see your kid read the Bible only after they were encouraged to do so by a parent or teacher. As the adult onlooker, we might be tempted to see this as a lack of care for God’s word, but we could also recognize that our child is cooperatively reading the Bible (not the easiest of books) and responding with respect to the spiritual advice of their parent or teacher. We might hear our children pray, but only through repetition or using the rote phrases they have heard. This might lead us to wonder: Do they truly know God personally? Are these words really their prayer to God? While these questions are rightly motivated and good to keep in mind, kids pray like kids. Just like kids talk to new people like kids, they default to trusted words and phrases that seem to work where they work. Again, the fact that they are talking to God at all in prayer is a good thing, and as parents, we can rejoice in hearing our kids pray—whatever the form.
Spiritual Growth Can Be Unclear
Like those smudgy marks on the wall, identifying spiritual growth can be unclear at times. People are complex (kids included), and motivations matter in observing spiritual development. One challenge parents can encounter is equating obedience with spiritual growth. Certainly, obeying parents is a wonderful way to live out God’s word (Eph. 6:1). However, there are many different motivators to produce a child’s obedience in school, church, or at home. Deception can enter when parents don’t actively pursue or examine the spiritual growth of their child because they are obedient. They do what they’re told—what else do we want, right? Obedient children need to grow in Christ also. Sometimes that growth means addressing those very personality traits or dispositions that lead to continual obedience. This is not to elevate disobedience as a sign of authenticity or honesty. However, parents and caregivers can experience something like a false-positive when it comes to evaluating the spiritual growth of obedient kids.
The hope for our kids is in Christ. All that we want for them and all that God has created them to be is found only in their saving union with Jesus.
Help from Others
Over the years, our family has had the joy of vacationing with another family we met in graduate school. Our lives overlapped in many ways, and we soon had the idea of going on a two-family trip together—risky, I know. As it turned out, this arrangement became a fixture in our family’s summer schedule, and the trips have become very meaningful. Every year we hear how our dear friends are encountering our children, seeing them for the first time months. They learn firsthand what they are doing, thinking about, and enjoying. Routinely, my wife and I are shocked to hear their comments about how our kids are developing and growing—ways they see God at work, changing them. We trust them, but sometimes it’s hard to believe. Their outside perspective allows them to see growth in ways we simply cannot process. As parents and caregivers, we have an enormous role to play in helping our children grow in their relationship with Christ, but sometimes we need to ask for help when it comes to seeing the signs of that growth. This is why Christian community is so important in helping disciple kids through middle school and high school years.
Talk About Growing in Christ
Reflecting on how our kids are growing spiritually is a fundamental part of Christian parenting, but the kids have a part to play in the process too. As our children grow up mentally and physically, they need to start playing a larger role in thinking about what it means for them to grow in Christ. We can ask questions—maybe, “What do you think it means to grow in Christ?” My son thought for a second and then shrugged his shoulders. Honestly, I was shocked. I mean he has grown up in the house of a pastor and theology professor, and he’s got nothing?! The point is, our kids might not know as much as we think they do. A simple conversation about growing as a Christian might open up some real insights into where they are in their relationship with Jesus. It could also provide the opportunity to bring them into the process of thinking about how they can grow closer to God through prayer, Bible study, Christian fellowship, and walking by his Spirit. As they enter into the discussion about process, our role looks more and more like loving accountability—helping them press into the areas that they themselves want to grow.
The hope for our kids is in Christ. All that we want for them and all that God has created them to be is found only in their saving union with Jesus. We want them to grow closer to him throughout their lives. As we seek to reflect on the spiritual growth of our kids, may we be quick to see the mustard seeds of grace at work in our children, discerning to separate spiritual growth from mere obedience, open to hear the words of others, and ready to sit down and talk with our kids about how to grow in Christ.
William R. Osborne is the author of 10 Questions About Growing in Christ: 30 Devotions for Kids, Teens, and Families.
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