Encouragement for Moms Who Don’t Always Feel Gentle

Look to the Lord

“Like a nursing mother taking care of her own children” (1 Thess. 2:7). When the apostle Paul sought a simile for gentleness, motherhood came to mind. How apt.

Vulnerable and defenseless, a newborn baby depends on a mother. Unlike a calf or lamb, who walks soon after birth, a human child must be cradled and carried. Through infancy and beyond, he or she requires sustenance, affection, and practical care. And a kind, tender, soft, loving, and selfless mother who devotes herself to caring for her children is a picture of gentleness.

However, as children grow older, it isn’t easy for moms to maintain a gentle demeanor. Too often, stress and weariness set in, and selfishness, impatience, and even anger threaten to take over. Apart from God, we find ourselves stuck. But with him, there’s hope:

Even as our children look to us for help, we can look to the Lord.

When we surrender to him, his grace changes us from the inside out.

If we are going to avoid speaking and acting harshly, we should familiarize ourselves with the one who is most gentle and gently leads his own.

Every Hour I Need You

Katie Faris

Through personal stories and biblical reflections, Katie Faris walks with women, helping them contemplate God’s unchanging character and see how his purposes are at work, even in the everyday moments of motherhood.

Dwell: God Is Gentle

Do you think of God as being gentle? Pastor and author Dane Ortlund writes,

Our natural intuition can only give us a God like us. The God revealed in the Scripture deconstructs our intuitive predilections and startles us with one whose infinitude of perfections is matched by his infinitude of gentleness. Indeed, his perfections include his perfect gentleness.¹

Consider Isaiah 40. This chapter of Scripture exalts many of God’s attributes, including his greatness (Isa. 40:12), wisdom (Isa. 40:13), justice (Isa. 40:14), knowledge (Isa. 40:14), sovereignty (Isa. 40:22), power (Isa. 40:26), eternality (Isa. 40:28), and strength (Isa. 40:29). Tucked among them is another attribute: God’s gentleness. Not only is God gentle, but he is specifically and wonderfully gentle to moms:

He will tend his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young. (Isa. 40:11)

When I read this verse, I feel seen and loved by God, and I hope you do too. If God is your heavenly Father, if he is your shepherd, then he cares for you. You are close to his heart, and his heart for you is gentle.

God is gentle with his daughters—what wonderful news!

Do you feel overwhelmed? Confused or uncertain? Are you unsure which path to pursue for your family—which health approach, schooling choice, discipline method, or church to belong to? God doesn’t get frustrated, throw up his hands in disgust, or give up on you. He gently leads you.

Shepherd imagery is all over Scripture, but Psalm 23 stands out, and in it, David identifies the Lord as his personal shepherd. And where does God lead him? To “green pastures” and beside “still waters” (Ps. 23:2–3). He restores David’s soul and leads him in “paths of righteousness” (Ps. 23:3). He does the same for us, offering ultimate soul-rest in Jesus, our Good Shepherd, who “lays down his life for the sheep” (John 10:11; see John 10:12–18).

Do you labor—juggling multiple hats and responsibilities for your family? Are you heavy-laden—bearing burdens of heart and mind for those you hold most dear? Soak in and absorb Jesus’s words to you: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matt. 11:28–29). Busy moms, where do we find true soul rest? Not in a tidy kitchen, on a screen, in a novel, or in a glass of wine. Only in Jesus, who is “gentle and lowly in heart” (Matt. 11:29).

Reflect

God is gentle with his daughters—what wonderful news! As he is gentle toward us, we ought to be the same with our families. For further reflection, read these verses and ask the Lord to cultivate gentleness—a fruit of his Spirit—in your heart: Galatians 5:23; Ephesians 4:2; 1 Timothy 6:11; Titus 3:2; James 3:17; and 1 Peter 3:4.

Notes:

Dane Ortlund, Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2020), 24.

This article is adapted from Every Hour I Need You: 30 Meditations for Moms on the Character of God by Katie Faris.

Katie Faris (BA, Grove City College) is the author of God Is Still Good; He Will Be Enough; and Loving My Children. She is also a contributing writer to several blogs including the Gospel Coalition and the Focused Pastor. A pastor’s wife and mother to five, Katie lives with her family in New Jersey. To learn more, visit katiefaris.com.

3 Misconceptions Parents Might Have About Their Children’s Salvation

Champ Thornton

April 30, 2025

The Lord has used truths about salvation to calm my parentally anxious heart and stabilize my thinking. Here are three misconceptions about salvation that parents may need the Lord to correct.

You Are Not the Judge of Your Parenting

Adam Griffin

August 23, 2025

Parents like us seem devoted to a life of trying to be judges. It’s truly ludicrous that we choose to listen to human judgments over the Lord’s.

Help! I Think I’m a Bad Parent

Adam Griffin

September 06, 2025

Are you a “bad parent”? If you think you are, is that better than thinking you’re a “good parent”? Here are some gracious thoughts for those of us who might be wondering if we are good or bad parents.