Advent Devotionals
Advent Devotionals
Hope for Those Who Have Made Sex an Idol
When a Good Gift Becomes an Idol
“I’m so ashamed.”
“I don’t see a way out.”
“I hate myself for it, and yet I keep going back to it.”
The draw to sexual sin is strong. As creatures with bodies, minds, hearts, and souls—which cannot be extricated one from the other—the physical and nonphysical pleasure and satisfaction offered by sex are uniquely powerful. So powerful, in fact, our culture enthrones sex as our highest good. The message that only sex can satisfy permeates music, movies, and social media. Monogamy seems quaint. Celibacy is unthinkable (a message we Christians might even unwittingly ingest). Sex has a godlike status in our age and in our minds. As a people, we view it as a must-have.
To be sure, sex is a good gift offered to us by our good God who made us good and in his image (Gen. 1:26–28, 1:31, 2:24–25). This good gift, though, when elevated to the best gift—a necessity, a nonnegotiable, something we cannot live without—causes great damage.
For Christians who are convinced of a biblical sexual ethic (sex is reserved for marriage between one man and one woman), giving in to sexual temptation leads to a painful cycle of shame in ourselves, unbelief that God can meet us, and succumbing again to sin in search of comfort, relief, and satisfaction, which brings us back to shame all over again. The draw to sexual sin is strong, but so is the resultant isolation, self-contempt, and despair. When men and women in the church give in to sexual sin and even become accustomed to it or addicted to it, they feel overwhelmed by humiliation and guilt. In fear, they keep their sin to themselves; it festers, feeds the cycle, and robs the Christian of the abundant life Jesus promises to his followers (John 10:10).
What can be done with this idol which looms large over our world and our own thoughts, causing great harm to our souls and relationships? Is there hope for the Christian man or woman who has given in over and over to sexual sin? The story told by Jesus of the prodigal son in Luke 15 says, Yes! There is tremendous hope.
Cultural Counterfeits
Jen Oshman
Jen Oshman casts a vision for women to reject the idols of our age and find real hope in Jesus, embracing their identity in Christ and recovering his design and purpose for their lives.
Remember Who Your Father Is
You may recall in the parable of the prodigal son that the son asks his father for his inheritance while his father is yet alive. Such a request is a clear rejection of the father and a stated preference for the father’s gifts over the father himself. Nonetheless, the father obliges, and the son takes his money and runs. The son “squandered his property in reckless living” (Luke 15:13) and finds himself starving, longing for pigs’ food, but no one will give him anything (Luke 15:16). It’s at this point that he comes to himself and remembers who his father is (Luke 15:17). He remembers the wealth and provision of his father and realizes it’s ridiculous that he would stay there and perish when there is plenty in his father’s house.
The same is true for you and me. Even the Christian who has regretfully turned to sin time and time again still belongs to our Father in heaven. We who are saved by grace through faith (Eph. 2:1–10) have been adopted by God (Gal. 4:4–7), and as his sons and daughters, we have access to all that he has (Eph. 1:3–23). Paul says we have “every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places” (Eph. 1:3) and a rich inheritance through Jesus, including the same power that raised Jesus from the dead (Eph. 1:19–20). Christian, we have a good Father who will never leave us and never forsake us (Heb. 13:5). Nothing whatsoever can separate us from his love (Rom. 8:37–39).
If you have been burned by sexual sin, which has promised you life but given you death, remember who your Father is. You still belong to him. You still have all that you need and so much more in him. This battle can be won. You are not without hope—far from it. You are a conqueror in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8:37).
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Return Home
After the son comes to himself, he determines to return home. In the ancient communal and agrarian context of Jesus’s parable, the son’s return home would have been a public spectacle. The community would have known about his initial reprehensible request for his inheritance because it likely required the father to sell off land to give his son the cash. The tight-knit community would have known the son left, bringing shame to his whole household. A return home would be a public declaration that the son was wrong and wants to repent. The son can’t imagine his father will receive him back, so he devises a plan to offer himself as a servant who will work for his keep (Luke 15:18–19).
But while the son “was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him” (Luke 15:20). The father had been waiting and watching for his beloved boy to return. And he doesn’t wait a second longer. Without regard for what the neighbors will think, he runs to his son. The father doesn’t rebuke him, belittle him, or reject him. Despite the son’s likely filthy state, the father hugs him, kisses him, gives him his own robe, ring, and shoes, and tells his servants to prepare a feast so they can celebrate (Luke 15:22–24).
This, too, is the reception that awaits the repentant Christian. Our own intuition and the enemy of our souls say the Father will reject us, belittle us, and have nothing to do with us. But that’s not true! He’s waiting now—even for the one entrenched in sexual sin—to return to him. He cannot wait to lavish his broken, needy, and meek sons and daughters with good gifts.
But friends, we must actually return. Those good gifts are in our Father’s house, within his good embrace, not out here where we’ve squandered our inheritance. The return home is public. Confession and repentance are not done in secret but rather declared to God and shared with community. While this return and confession may be terrifying, John assures us, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). And Paul reminds us repeatedly that we need one another to overcome our sin (see Gal. 6:1-2, Rom. 12:5, 1 Thess. 5:11, 14). Mercy and forgiveness await the prodigal son or daughter who returns home and confesses sin to both Father and community.
Will we serve our good, beautiful, and true God or the false god of sexual sin?
Renew Your First Love
Music, dancing, and feasting ensue as the whole household and community celebrate the return of the prodigal (Luke 15:25-27, 32). We can assume—based off the son’s plan to be his father’s servant—he is relieved and overjoyed to be back home, bearing again the status of a beloved son. He’s likely on the dance floor celebrating more than anyone. What gifts of unconditional love, unlimited mercy, and unmerited generosity he has received!
Now, what matters going forward is the son’s response to these good gifts: Will he adore and cherish his father for the rest of his days, or will he be wooed back to reckless living? Will the cycle of sin and shame persist, or will he walk in freedom?
An ever-growing love for the Father is necessary if a prodigal is to remain free. In our fallen world with our fallen hearts, life in the far country will always be somewhat attractive. This side of heaven, the enemy will lie to us, and our flesh will fail us. Our only hope to stay here, at home in the arms of our Father, is to love him more than we love our sin.
Jesus says, “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other” (Matt. 6:24). And while he’s referring to the love of money, it pertains to the love of sex as well. Will we serve our good, beautiful, and true God or the false god of sexual sin?
Our love for our Father will lead to our obedience to him (John 14:21–24). If we treasure him more than the instant gratification of sin, we will be willing to say no to sin and yes to the Father. We have to decide in our hearts who our first and final love will be (Rev. 2:4–5). And thankfully, we are not left to our own strength. For we who are in Christ, the Holy Spirit is in us, helping us to love God more than the world (John 14:26-27), enabling us to persevere to the end.
Is there hope for those who’ve made sex an idol, who worship the gift rather than the Giver? Absolutely, yes. Our God is a kind Father, eagerly and expectantly waiting for the return of those who have rejected him. He is watching even now, full of immeasurable grace, looking for his wayward sons and daughters on the horizon. Prodigal, remember who your Father is, return home, and renew your first love.
Jen Oshman is the author of Cultural Counterfeits: Confronting 5 Empty Promises of Our Age and How We Were Made for So Much More.
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